January 23rd

Where am I?

For the next week, Mum, Dad, Piers and I are going back to England for Granddad's funeral. John is staying behind and is going to be on bunny patrol. Toby is now hopping around my sewing room wondering where the Hell he is and what he has done to deserve a week with John.

January 22nd

Big seven year old!

Up to Muncie for Josh's seventh birthday party. The birthday boy wanted to go bowling and so we did and it was a surprising amount of fun. Everyone got into it, with the adults on one team and the kids on another. By the second game the kids' attention had wandered and we spent more time hunting them down when it was their turn than we did playing, but it was a neat distraction on a cold day. 

January 21st

I see you!

An easy day at work. Today there were only 2 babies which seems like heaven. Normal ratios in Indiana are four infants to one caregiver or eight infants to two caregivers. I would rather have eight babies than four. Even though there is twice as much screaming/pooping/feeding/burping, there is someone else in the room with me so there is adult conversation. When there are 4, I spend the day talking to myself, making me feel like I am going crazy. Two babies are perfect - enough work to so that I don't feel bored, but not so much that I feel I am losing my mind.

January 20th

You are going to let me out...right?

Today in lab we worked on restraining patients. I am guessing it is much easier when the patients don't mind.

January 19th

Yap, yap, yap

When I was looking around my Health Promotion class this was what I saw. This is a pretty typical view of most of my classes, but what you can't see is the noise. 

At the beginning of last semester 90 beginning nursing students sat in one room awkwardly sizing each other up and talking in low voices, if at all. Some had already made friends in the preliminary classes but most of us were looking around, wondering if we had made the right choice. We were timid and quiet.

The difference between then and now is noise. Dear God our classes are noisy! We have made friends, established groups and have so much to talk about that the subject matter has a hard time fitting in. I feel for our instructors who have to talk over us, not an easy task. We have gelled into a group that I am looking forward to spending the next 2 years with.

January 18th

Soon...

My sewing room does double duty as my office as well. Most of the time there isn't a conflict, as I do the majority of my studying on the couch downstairs, but if John is home and watching a movie and I have studying to do I go to my room. 

The main problem with studying in my sewing room is that when I get in there...I don't want to study. I want to sew, or cut fabric, or play with beads and wire. The last thing I want to do is read about cardiovascular disease or the nursing process. In 2.5 years I will be able to use my sewing room as a crafting paradise, but for now I have to try to remember - work now, play later.

January 17th

No way!

Nothing exciting really happened. John was just making a silly face.

January 16th

Bun-nana!

The picture above is Rufus getting his reward for being a good bunny. 

We had to give him a mani/pedi and good brushing tonight. When we do his nails I hold him and John clips. I am never sure which of us is getting the worst end of the deal. I have to hold Rufus and stop him from struggling - I can sense how terrified he is and I can feel his heart pounding against his ribs. John has to use the clippers and is responsible for making sure that the blade doesn't get too close and hurt. And poor Rufus has no idea what is happening, but is sure that he is being betrayed by his people.

We are all glad when it is over but the rabbit is the only one who gets a reward. 

January 15th

You can see my uvula!

Today John was messing around with Photo Booth and I kept photo bombing him at the last minute. The photos got more and more ridiculous until this one. It might be my favorite photo ever. 

I love the resigned look on my poor husband's face. He says that he thinks it encapsulates our whole relationship. I totally agree. 

January 14th

Gratuitous Rufus Shot

It has been a quiet day/night around here. I had class in the morning and then wasn't needed at work in the afternoon. It was appreciated, as I am having an achy day, and so I took a nap in the afternoon.

John went up to Muncie for a show so I have spent my Friday night with the perfect man. He doesn't expect me to cook dinner and he loves to nap. Best of all - he can't talk.

January 13th

Rookie Reds

First day of a new clinical today! I learned that this semester I am going to be on the organ transplant ward, which is super cool and exciting. Today I also learned about correct handwashing...not so cool or exciting, but important.

I love red scrub days.

January 12th

Sweetness

We have twins at work - a boy and a girl. They are perfect, ticklish little people with chubby legs and big, gummy smiles. 

I love working in the infant room and knowing that I am one of the most important people in the lives of these babies, but it breaks my heart a little knowing that they move on and I am replaced by the next teacher in the line. I still wonder about the kids that I had in my first class, almost five years ago. 

It is a skill - being able to love and care for someone and yet maintain a distance. I know that I am going to need it in nursing even more than I need it in childcare. The balance has to exist. However, I think than one of my strengths will be to stay just slightly on this side of it. 

January 11th

Looking to avoid this

I have decided that I need a new job.

One that pays me to sit on my couch, pet my rabbit, twirl my hair, watch my stories, be warm, and nap as needed. Travel would be acceptable - but only to exotic locales where they serve drinks with little umbrellas. I am not going to Des Moines.

Salary is negotiable. But it had better be a lot.

January 10th

Nice try...

I saw this in the snow while I was walking to the mailbox this afternoon. 

It could almost make me like winter. Almost.

January 9th

A lucky woman

John came home with a present for me. My favorite kind of present. One that was thoughtful and sweet and that I would never buy for myself. 

Knowing that I never sleep on long plane rides he surprised me with a Kindle. It is a really amazing machine. I never thought that I would like one because I am such a tactile person. I need to touch things, it is why I don't like shopping online for fabric or clothes, but this little tablet has already won me over.

January 8th

Before the tears...

Mine - not Alexandra's. 

The problem with having a team that has "won it all" within recent memory is that when they poop out in the first round of the playoffs it seems so much worse than when you had no hope at all.

January 7th

(this picture is from January 6th - but it was sent to me today so I think that counts)

Spelling fail

Last night was the fifth anniversary of John and my first date. Every year on January 6th we go back to the Claddaugh and have fish and chips. 

Just like 5 years ago it was absolutely freezing and Brian and Annette joined us. Unlike 5 years ago we drove there and back together and there was no smooching in the parking lot. Our relationship has changed a lot in five years - the surge of electricity has turned into a lifetime power supply (to quote my husband). 

It is the type of power that you sometimes take for granted. It's like turning on a switch and knowing there will be light without taking the time to be amazed about all of the complicated reactions and forces that have to come together for the bulb to illuminate. In some ways that makes it more rare and spectacular. 

After dinner we drove back home together. I unlocked the door, walked into the kitchen, flipped the switch and there was light.

January 6th

 Ballerinas

Today was a playdate. Cassie, Isia, Dana, Cielle and baby Leland (or Yeeyun depending on who you ask) gathered together at Dana's house for brunch. The girls played at being ballerinas, Cielle telling Isia what to do and leading her in their 'dance class'.

I marvel at my friends' ability to make new people. All of the babies are becoming independent and developing their own personalities and I am getting glimpses of what their parents must have been like as children. 

January 5th

Sweaty Betties

Jessica (my boss and friend) and I decided to try Zumba class at the Gold's gym. First thing to know is that I have absolutely no rhythm at all. None. At all. 

Jess - on the other hand - does. As did almost all of the other women in the class. I spent an hour feeling like I did in high school, a collection of wildly elongated limbs, spasming at seemingly random intervals. I think the difference between this time and then was that this time I accepted it.

No - I don't have grace. Yes - I will probably trip over my own feet and possibly into the lady next to me (sorry!). But, damnit, I am going to be having a good time while I do it. So I think we will go again. Look out.

January 4th

Paradise? Probably not if we have to wear coats.

Tonight after work I met Jamie for dinner at Paradise Bakery. Jamie and I have been friends for 20 (!) years, since being at Forest Dale elementary together. We lost touch for a while and got back together through the wonder of Facebook. It is freaky how easy it is to pick up a friendship after years and be right back where you were in 5th grade. 

We always meet for dinner at Paradise. The theory is that it is about halfway between our houses but really it is the free cookies. 

January 3rd

Called for?

Today marked the end of John's winter break. He celebrated returning to work by coming home and watching Black Dynamite. Sometimes I wonder...

January 2nd

My refuge

On New Years Eve my Granddad passed away. 

It wasn't a surprise - more of a long drawn out process. He had been disintegrating for a long time, slowly fading away, and mentally he had been gone for months. It was the last act of 2010 - a year that had been a challenge anyway and I have been left feeling depleted and weary. 

When I feel the way I do now, the only thing that I can think to do is create something. The feeling of fabric in my hands and the sound of the machine provide a very real comfort. What I am making ceases to be important and I am able to silence the sad voice in my mind and concentrate on the placement of seams and the clipping of threads. I feel connected to generations of women before me and that makes me feel stronger. 

January 1st

Our New Years Eve Tradition

Most people start the new year with with resolutions. This is mine. 

When we were putting up the Christmas Tree last year I started looking for a picture to go in our yearly ornament. I realized that I had hardly any pictures of the past year. While it wasn't the best year, I still don't want whole parts of my life to go undocumented. My picture taking skills aren't the best and writing is something that is usually best left to the Professor, but this is something that I really want to try.

We rang in the New Year at Brian and Annette's as normal. Wine, dirty word Scrabble and lots of laughter beat the bars any day.